It's so easy to get stuck in a holidaze. What do I mean? Like when you are constantly discontent or feeling like a failure with what's in front of you. The comparison trap is at our fingertips all day long. We can get into a daze as we scroll through others' lives instead of appreciating our own. It's so gross. I'm writing this to and for myself and wanted to encourage myself along with anyone else it may help. This stuff happens with or without the social media highlight reel and Pinterest boards, it's just magnified.
Things you may find yourself thinking:
- "my family is so screwed up" // "look how perfect they are"
- "we don't have new clothes" // "how do they afford to dress like that"
- "my kids never listen" // "are they always smiling and well behaved?!"
- "we are eating frozen pizza" // "must be nice to go to that expensive restaurant"
- "we never go anywhere" // "where are they now?! another amazing trip"
The list could go on and on, I've found myself saying some of these and many more. It's embarrassing to admit, really. It is so immature, unhealthy and ultimately will leave us completely dissatisfied and unhappy. Everyone's "behind-the-scences" have a mess attached at some point. Let's get out of the pity party, comparison trap and count our blessings. Here's some practical steps when you find you find yourself getting stuck:
1. Get Grateful
Count your blessings. Look around and literally count them. Point out the smallest victories. Gratitude turns what we have into enough. There is always always something to be thankful for.
"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." I Thessalonians 5:16-18
2. Honestly Happy
As gross and icky as jealousy, envy and bitterness can be when they come in... and hard to admit we ever deal with this. Shut them out. I believe you can train your soul to truly "do the opposite". As soon as those negative thoughts come in, stop and celebrate. You can be honestly happy for your friends or "friends" on social media. Celebrate for them. Cheer them on.
"Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him! Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you’re on their side, working with them and not against them." Philippians 4:4-5
3. Be Real
We all value those who are fearlessly authentic, be brave and share your behind-the-scenes at times. Remind yourself that everyone has a story behind the pictures and the highlights. Create a "me too" moment with a friend. Share the messy moments, hurt feelings, unmet expectations in a conversation and find the freedom in friendship of shared experiences. Embrace your beautiful mess.
"It doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful." Myquillin Smith
 |
Bloody nose & messy clothes. Our beautiful mess.
Easter Sunday 2017 |
My "real rant" you can read or totally ignore:
My behind-the-scenes moments include, but are are not limited to: no family in town, frozen pizza for lunch, tacos for dinner (that undoubtedly the boys will complain about), laundry, cleaning, raining outside so flying kites and easter egg hunt canceled, a boy with pink eye, a boy saying "I'm the meanest mom ever", a lack of money to do anything "fun", hand-me-down old clothes for "Easter outfits", no "Easter shoes". That's such a terrible train to be on! See how awful that can get us feeling?! I'm with you. Instead I choose to say, my family is together. We get to go slow, play cards, cuddle inside and watch movies. We have food to eat. We have a great church to attend. We colored Easter eggs. We woke up first thing and read the Easter story together. Our boys were generous and every time they saw a child with less candy than them, they immediately went to give them some of theirs, including their best. Most of all, the real reason is that Jesus is alive! We can be truly alive because of Him! I'm so grateful for the life we live in Him and all my craziness that is #thezickzoo.
(I've actually written about this before, years ago. Found myself needing to remind my own soul of it.) Labels: comparison, feelings, I'm not perfect, insecurities, Jesus, life, life-changing, momlife, wake up
