The more I thought about this comparison trap.... and how easily it's talked about and owned by myself and many of us... I realized it's a really pretty label on something really ugly. I feel like it's easy for me to say, "Yes. I too struggle with comparison." But what is really behind the door of comparison? Jealousy, envy, bitterness, pride, and the list of nasty just goes on.
I have always agreed with the thought that, "recognizing the problem is half the battle." Well if this is true... then mis-labeling the problem, well that's an issue. I can say, "oh I just need to stop comparing." And move on with my day. But when I open the door of comparison... I must realize what's behind that door and in my heart is a whole lot of jealousy for what I don't have; envy of what other's have that I don't think they deserve (or if they do, then I definitely do); bitterness towards others or God for not "blessing" me with that; pride that I am so much better than someone who made that choice. I mean all kinds of evil really.
"For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind." (James 3:16 NLT)
What a word of truth. So if the comparison in my life is stirring up jealousy, envy and selfish ambition... I can know what will follow. Disorder, confusion, every kind of evil. No wonder it can "seep into every area" of my life or seem to consume my thoughts at times. It's a disorder I don't want to dive into. I picture a trap door in the floor; the trap being comparison. And once I fall into the trap, I'm swimming in the mess of pride, jealousy, envy, bitterness, and more.
"Look after each other so
that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no
poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many. (Hebrews 12:15 NLT)
"A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body; jealousy is like cancer in the bones." (Proverbs 14:30 NLT)
Let's look after each other. Let's refuse to live this way. I refuse to go another day living in this without recognition and repentance for doing so. God made us for so much more. So I have to recognize what is really going on in my heart and mind, acknowledge the error of my ways and pursue peace and love (and "The Art of Celebration"-- see previous post.)
God, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for living like this for so long and writing it off as no big deal. I know you have designed life to be so much sweeter than living with this disorder. Thank you for showing me this truth. Let it come alive in me in such a way that I can't turn back. I don't want to be "okay" with this. I want to truly celebrate others and be grateful for the amazing life I have. Thank you for rescuing me from this trap. Help pull us out, one by one, day by day, moment by moment and look to You for wisdom on how to celebrate & love others... give us Your thoughts, show us Your ways. I love you. Thank you for grace.... again.
“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth so my ways are higher than your way and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8-9 NLT)
Labels: change, comparison, do something, grace, hope, I'm not perfect, insecurities, life-changing, truth, wake up