Just this morning-- something unexpected, unplanned, and unwanted happened.
We lost baby Z. It is heartbreaking. I'm definitely still in process, but wanted to let the people we love know what we're walking through.
Many may say that you shared the news too early, but I believe in celebrating life without the fear of death. Cole and I are both pretty much open books and I understand that not everyone is built that way. I will always celebrate the gift of life. Without the idea of impending doom or loss of life. Fear all too often cripples us. It deters us from living out the fullness of life that we were made to experience. This is one area I will never let it creep in. We aim to live fearless in our lives and walk in faith.
It's also comforting to know that if and when you do experience loss, the people closest to you will surround you with love and support, because they know what you're going through. You won't be isolated and alone. Already today I've had my favorite Starbucks drink delivered, my favorite lunch brought over and shared, and dinner is on it's way from another sweet family of people who love and support us.
These lyrics are the song in my heart today-- and will always remind me of this life & loss:
Blessed be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name
I am a blessed woman. The love of my life took the day off work to take care of me and the boys. They came with me to the doctor and shared Jamba Juice together afterwards. Caleb prayed for mommy & baby Z. It's been a sweet, sweet day in the middle of this loss.
Thank you Lord-- My heart chooses to bless You today no differently than any other day.
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| A little sunshine today at Jamba after the doctor's office. |
Labels: baby:mamas, choose life, hope, I'm not perfect, Jesus, life-changing, miscarriage, reality, wifeys
